


you don’t own me (don’t try to change me in any way)

by greenarrow12123



Category: Queen of the South (TV)
Genre: And love, Bounty Hunters, Drug cartels, F/M, Falling In Love, Love, uncertain about love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-11-28
Packaged: 2019-09-02 01:54:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16777297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenarrow12123/pseuds/greenarrow12123
Summary: Reader is a bounty hunter for the cartel leaders and Teresa hires them to find James when he goes missing (James Valdez and Reader one-shots with Teresa and Pote thrown in)





	you don’t own me (don’t try to change me in any way)

**Author's Note:**

> Alright so this is out of the blue because I’ve been binge watching Queen of the South for the past few days. But I’m in love with James. Big surprise there. Anyways, this got kinda out of hand (and if you recognize anything it’s because I borrowed the same “reader” background from one of my own one-shots because it fit well with James and the drug business so sorry not sorry). Anyways I haven’t written in forever (because I got a new job sorry guys) but I had to get this out so ignore any and all spelling mistakes and feel free to point them out because I’m too tired to completely edit. Enjoy!!

“Your mission is to find James Valdez. Last known location, Mexico.”

You had been in the drug business since you were a child. You didn’t exactly enjoy it, but it was all you were familiar with. You never really had a normal childhood; your family had been murdered when you were five. And you were quickly taken in by a cartel leader, trained, and sent off on missions by the time you were 10.

You were somewhat of a bounty hunter rented out to the highest bidder. The majority of the time you would hunt down missing and stranded cartel members. But sometimes you were paid to hunt down those poor fools who had tried to run away from this life. 

No place was too far. You had been everywhere from Japan to South America to Europe. Wherever the highest bidder wanted you, you went. Cartel leaders knew of your reputation and would pay thousands for you to hunt down anyone and anything. Some tried to blackmail you or tie you down to their particular cartel, but they were never successful and they wouldn’t risk the wrath of hurting you and causing a war between cartels.

Everybody trusted you to get the job done quickly and efficiently. You had earned a name for yourself. Muñeca. You had a “young and trusting” face that would be able to blend in. Where many cartel members stood out, you were able to blend in.

Even though you had worked for both Camila Vargas and Teresa Mendoza in the past you had never run into their right-hand man, James Valdez. You had heard stories sure. But never met him. Truthfully, you hadn’t met many people. You were on the move so often, you never had time to tie down roots with anyone.

From what you had heard, James was as loyal as they come. He had a reputation of shoot first ask questions later. He first became the talk of the town when he split from Camila. And then when he surfaced again under the reign of Teresa. The people you found (or kidnapped) would share with you the stories from their world. You were always kept updated and were able to piece together that which you didn’t know. But you knew he had a hidden soft side. You had heard he had chance after chance to kill Teresa when she was feuding with Camila, but somehow the woman was still alive.

As your travels continued and you received job after job, you had lost track of where James ended up.

Up until this day.

You never expected to receive a call from the one and only Teresa Mendoza. You had worked for her before but you had only ever talked to her bodyguard Pote. But here she was. Personally calling you to find her right-hand man.

James was one of the best.

You knew thought you would ever have to save him.

But here you were.

According to Teresa, James had been stranded during a mission in Mexico. He had stayed behind to ensure that everybody could escape. She had figured he would be in touch within a day or so, but once he didn’t make contact with them, Teresa began to worry.

──────────────────────

After landing in Mexico, you played the part of the scorned lover very well. Having perfected it over the years. The tears streaming down your face was one of your best skills.

And within a few days, you were finally able to find him. Some low-level dealer had kidnapped him, ready to sell him off to his leader. Most likely in payment for not making his own payments on time.

Borrowing a few weapons along the way, you sauntered into the dealer’s den, guns aiming at the first person you saw.

“Valdez. Where is he?” You said.

Not missing a beat, the man sitting in the corner head burrowed in a book, pointed to the back room.

Your brows shot up, your gaze drifting around looking for signs of a trap. But not finding any, you shrugged and quickly made your way through the messy room to the door in the back.  
There you found James fucking Valdez handcuffed to a drain pipe.

Smirking, you waved your gun up and down his body, “Never thought I’d see the day when the big bad Valdez was held back by some handcuffs.”

“Who the fuck are you?” He snarled.

“I’m here to rescue you, Princesa.”

He rolled his eyes, scoffing, “I don’t need your help.”

Ignoring his words, you leaned down to cut through his handcuffs, but he pulled away.

“Let me do my job.” You said through gritted teeth.

He opened his mouth again and you rolled your eyes, slamming your gun down onto his head, watching as he dropped unconscious to the ground.

Running a hand over your eyes, you sighed as you realized you would have to lug his body back to your car.

After cutting through his handcuffs, you pulled him up, hoisting him up over your shoulder. You fell slightly into the wall before regaining your balance as James’s body hung over your shoulder.  
Groaning under his weight, you slammed open the door, eyes widening as the front door slammed open, three armed men storming inside towards you.

Without flinching, you opened fired and dropped all three of them within seconds. You turned your gaze to the man who had pointed out James in the first place. He looked at you, at your gun, and then went back to reading. You shrugged and quickly left to return to your car.

You took off down the highway, putting on cruise control as you sat back and relaxed, turning up the music.

It wasn’t until about a half-hour later that you began hearing groaning from where you had dropped your new buddy, James.

You had to give him credit because within a minute he was wide awake and taking in his surroundings. He seemed to quickly register that he was in a stolen car, meaning he couldn’t receive any answers from his surroundings. He then turned his gaze to you.

His mouth opened, but before he could get a word out, you put up your finger, silently telling him to wait. You turned the music up a little higher and loudly sang along.

After a few seconds, James’s hand slammed down on the volume knob, shutting off the music.

“That was my favorite part.”

James drew in a breath, but once again you interrupted.

“I’m Y/N. Teresa Mendoza sent me.”

You heard him sigh and fall back against the seat, rubbing his bloody hands over his bruised face.

“Y/N. I know you. Muñeca. Camila used to talk about you. You’re the bounty hunter.”

You nodded, grimacing slightly at the nickname, “Present and accounted for.”

“How do I not recognize you?” You look up and see him scrutinizing you.

You chuckled, “Because that’s how the cartel’s want to keep it. I work for everybody. They lose me, they lose one of their greatest assets.”

“They told you that?” He prodded, his gaze running over you as if trying to figure you out.

You took a deep breath, suddenly focusing very hard on the road in front of you, “Not in as many words. But they definitely don’t want my face known. Makes it easier to not get caught.”

“That must be lonely.”

You look up at him startled, “I’ve been alone most my life. Doesn’t make a difference to me. The drug business has been all I’ve known since before I was 10.”

He looked surprised. “Since you were 10? What about your family?”

Your shoulders stiffened.

He opened his mouth, probably to apologize when you abruptly looked straight into his eyes, “I’ve been on my own for longer than I can remember. Even before I joined the drug business I barely had any family. I don’t remember what it was like before this life.”

He grimaced as your once bright eyes began to darken as bad memories were pulled to the surface.

James was quiet for a few minutes before leaning forward and turning the music back on, softly this time. 

And then he began to speak. Softly and slowly about how he joined the drug business. How he had lost his family. His home. His pets. His possessions. How the cartel had given him a family, only to take it away yet again. After losing so many people, he had made a promise to himself that he would never get close to anybody again.

It took a few days to get James back to Teresa. By then you felt you knew him better than you had ever known anybody. He was easy to talk to and you felt safe telling him your secrets because he had the same secrets. He listened without judging and offered support without forcing it on you.

You didn’t know how different everything would be after this.

This mission started out as just any other, but something had changed. You weren’t ready to admit it to yourself, but James had become your family and would change everything you thought you knew.

──────────────────────

After dropping James off, you had been prepared to vanish. But then Teresa offered you a job.

And after just a moment’s hesitation, you had accepted. You had listened to how highly James spoke of Teresa. How she was different. How she had a heart. You knew you wouldn’t regret working for her.

And you didn’t.

And after a few months of working solely for Teresa, you found yourself going out on more and more missions. Teresa trusted you. Pote made sure you were well trained in the art of self-defense (and cooking). And James was..... James. 

You became quick friends. You did pretty much everything together. James taught you how to play poker. You taught him how to do yoga, which he absolutely hated but never complained about. Your relationship was thriving.

When you were at the safe house that is.

However, the story was different when you were out on missions.

James was always at your back, complaining that you weren’t ready. That you were too young. Too inexperienced. That you were going to fuck up the operation.

It hurt. It did.

What you didn’t know, was that he was just worried. Worried for your safety. Worried something bad was going to happen to you.

As the weeks passed, your anger over how James had been treating you subsided. You weren’t going to let it get to you. You would do your job and show him that you could handle yourself.

So you did. And soon James backed off.

But your insecurities were still around. Especially when other people were around.

You weren’t used to the attention, usually, one to just melt in the background. But it was all starting to get to you. At first, you didn’t mind the attention. Just hellos, small talk, and friendly gestures, but over time it began to become more.

More meaning, people Teresa would do business with would blatantly hit on you, no matter how hard James was glaring at them.

They would try to impress you with epic stories of their adventures and daring deliveries. Usually, you were able to scare them off with a sly smile and a flick of your gun. Sometimes when that wouldn’t work you’d look desperately to Pote, who would growl at them, his hand drifting to his gun, until they quickly scurried away.

But sometimes you weren’t so lucky.

What was the probability that Teresa would do business with a new cocky supplier, the day both Pote and James were away on a mission?

High.

This new supplier was impressive. But he was also an asshole. A cocky, arrogant, and annoying scumbag. The look in his eyes made you want to run miles away.

And somehow, you had caught his attention.

He wasn’t too obvious at first. But soon his lingering gazes turned into him trying to pull you down to sit on his lap during meetings.

You knew Teresa wanted to say something, but she also knew you could fight your own battles and would turn to her when you were only truly desperate.

You fended off his attempts multiple times. But he just wouldn’t give in.

He knew you weren’t attached to anyone. He told you that he had heard rumors about you.

You weren’t sure what that meant, but it was definitely going to make you more paranoid in the future knowing that people were talking about you.

He tried everything. EVERYTHING. To get you to go out with him. Expensive handbags. New guns. Beautiful diamonds.

Since James and Pote were both gone and couldn’t help you, you were a few seconds away from begging Teresa for help. And you knew she gladly would. But it hurt your spirit a little knowing that you couldn’t even fend off one annoying guy.

Maybe James was right about you.

So instead of dealing with the problem. You avoided it. And by avoiding it, you meant literally avoiding the very man who was vying for your affections.

You would stealthily move about the safe house and meeting spaces, peering around corners, hiding in alcoves. You even climbed into an air vent one day. You had barely eaten, because every time you went into the kitchen, he would pop up.

Which is why you had ended up hiding out in James’s room. Because you knew that he hoarded food under his bed. Even though he swore up and down he had no idea how it got there. But you knew he secretly snacked at night.

It was in his room that you came up with your master plan.

You were going to kiss somebody to prove that you liked someone else and weren’t interested in him.

After going through the small list of people that Teresa worked with and that you even slightly trusted, you chose one of Teresa’s tech guys. He was as harmless as they come. And you had befriended him within the first few days when he had smuggled you in an old Gameboy.

After shooting him a quick (desperately begging) message he agreed to meet up the next day. You went to his workshop and you were somehow able to convince him of your plan. He had laughed (for a little too long) and agreed before you could even start begging.

A few days later, instead of ninja walking around like usual, you walked through the halls with a purpose. Just as you passed by the kitchen you heard someone scream your name, the supplier.

You swiftly changed your direction and headed towards the living room. The supplier screamed your name again, but you pretended like you didn’t hear him.

As you entered the living room you frantically scanned the room, trying to find your tech guy.

There he was. In the corner bent over his computer.

You sighed steeling yourself and quickly took off toward him. His back was to you so he didn’t see you coming. Instead of calling his name, you just grabbed his shoulder, turned him around, and kissed him.

The second your lips touched his, he froze. At first, he didn’t kiss back, which was strange, so you pushed yourself harder against him, your hand reaching up to pull him closer. His lips became soft under yours and his arms came up to wrap tightly around you. One hand snaked around your back while the other rose to weave into your hair, pulling you even closer to him.

When you finally pulled back your heart stopped. It wasn’t your tech guy, it was James.

James.

You swallowed hard, your heart beating as your eyes remained locked with his.

You were both frozen, James’s arms still tight around you, his fingers gripping so tight to your jacket, you weren’t sure you would even be able to pull away.

After a beat, his arms slowly loosened and you quickly took two steps back.

Before you could even think about what to say, your “admirer” cleared his throat behind you. Ripping your gaze from James, you turned quickly to face the other man.

He looked worried as his gaze darted between you to James. He quickly apologized for “romantically” pursuing you and hastily sped away.

You heard James snort behind you and was just about to turn around to face him when you saw Teresa walk across the room. She smirked at you and you threw her a glare. Just as you opened your mouth to tear her a new one, James gently touched your back.

You jumped and whipped around to face him, your face bright red.

Before you could even apologize for jumping him, he smiled, “Well, that sure was one hell of a welcome home.”

You sighed in relief, “Fuck, James, you don’t know half the shit I had to put up with this week.”

“Hey now, don’t change the subject Muñeca.”

You squinted your eyes and his mouth curled up at your reaction, “Change what now?”

“Y/N. Come on. That kiss, I mean-“ James sighed taking a step toward you.

You mirrored him by stumbling back a few steps, “Listen I just wanted to get that guy off my back. I- I didn’t even mean to kiss you. I mean I was supposed to kiss Evan, you know the tech guy? It didn’t mean anything.”

Your heart dropped as the light in his eyes dimmed and his body seemed to visibly stiffen, “Oh. I-okay then.“

You could slap yourself. A week ago you had been ready to tell James how you really felt. you had fucked it all up. There was no coming back from this. How could you tell him now? This was for the best right?

But how could it be right not to be with him though? You couldn’t get the feel of his lips out of your head. All you could think about was how perfect they had felt on yours. How safe you had felt in his arms. How he had held you so tight you could still feel his hands on your body. How you would do anything to feel that again.

But he hadn’t fought for you. If he had truly wanted you he would have fought for you. Right?

And so you both moved on.

So you thought.

──────────────────────

Things had been weird ever since the kiss.

You and James were fine.

Really.

But could it really be fine when you were in love with him and were too afraid to tell him?

Everybody seemed to know. Teresa tried to talk to you. Even Pote mentioned something while you helped him make dinner one night. But you just ignored them.

You weren’t ready to face it.

Everything was going relatively well between the two of you. You were both pretending nothing had happened. But that was before Pote set fire to the kitchen.

Accidentally, he claimed.

Standing outside in the cold of winter at three in the morning, the breeze causing goosebumps to rise on your skin as you glared at Pote. The man himself standing in a t-shirt not seeming to be bothered by the cold wind.

Teresa was dressed in normal clothes. Like always. You weren’t sure she even owned pajamas.

You wrapped your arms around yourself, James’s soft white sweater, cutting off the worst of the cold breeze. The shirt was big on you, hanging down almost to your knees, the sleeves rolled over and over again yet still falling over your hands.

“…Is that my sweater?” You heard a soft voice behind you.

Throwing a smirk over your shoulder at James, you chuckled, “That it is.”

You turned around, “Are those my slippers?”

“Yes. Can I ask why you’re wearing it?”

You tilted your head confused at his statement, “What?”

“The sweater. My sweater. Why are you wearing it?”

You definitely blame your sleepy brain for your next response, “It makes me feel safe.”

After a beat of silence and a slight quirk of James’s mouth, you realized what you had said. Stumbling over your words you frantically spit out, “Nope, I didn’t say that. Ignore that.”

James’s smile took up his whole face. He looked you up and down before his eyes widened, “Wait. Isn’t that the sweater I was looking for weeks ago?”

“Well…”

“Y/N!” James exclaimed, “I asked you for weeks what happened to it! I can’t believe you had it all this time. Have you taken anything else I’ve been looking for?!”

You scoffed, lightly blushing, “What no of course not why would I ever do that….?”

Lies. You always wore his clothes. His shirts to bed. His pants during cold days. His sweatshirts. You loved his shirts and sweaters the best. They smelled like him. They made you feel safe. You loved being able to cuddle up at night tucked in something that reminded you of him. You loved falling asleep surrounded by his scent. Especially if you were feeling particularly down or sad, his scent would wrap you in a cocoon of safety until you relaxed.

Before James could comment at your clearly ridiculous response, you heard someone scream your name.

“Y/N! James! Did you hear me? Pote and I are together. And you two are rooming together.”

You looked at James in confusion, “Wait, rooming together? Where?”

──────────────────────

It turns out that the explosion, the one Pote had definitely meant to cause, had knocked out the heat and power in the safe house. Thus their little family had to move to a motel for a few days.

And who did you end up with? James. Because of course, you did. You are 100% certain that Teresa did that on purpose.

As you packed up your room, your heart was beating out of your chest. You weren’t sure if this was going to end well, but you really didn’t have a choice in the matter. Would you be able to live with James feeling the way you were feeling? James and you still hadn’t had that dreaded conversation about your kiss all those months ago. You had both been putting it off for obvious reasons.

You didn’t want to fuck up your friendship.

Breaking you out of your thoughts, James came stumbling through the door. He was lugging only one bag.

“You ready to go?”

As James showered, you curled up onto your bed, burrowing your face in his shirt, breathing in the scent that calmed your nerves. The door to the bathroom creaked open and you met James’s eyes, his face lighting up.

You had closed your eyes feigning sleep, but you could just hear the smirk on his face when he said, “So you clearly always wear my clothes to bed.”

You propped yourself up on one arm and rolled over to face him as he settled on his own bed, “What would make you think that?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe it’s my spy skills. Maybe I’m a genius. Or maybe it’s because there’s a huge pile of my clothes in your bag. So you’re going to wear my sweater tonight?”

“Yes. Problem?”

“Nope. No problem. Good night Y/N.” James said.

You smiled, “Goodnight James.”

Rooming with James was.....easy. Soon the few days in the motel turned into a week and then two. Teresa claiming that the house wasn’t “up to par” yet.

But you didn’t mind. You complimented each other perfectly. You showered at night. He would shower in the morning. He would leave the book he was reading open on the table. And you would make sure to mark his page so he wouldn’t lose his place. You would fall asleep at your desk working late at night. And James would make sure to carry and tuck you into bed.

There was the tiny problem of the fact that you were head over heels in love with him. But you set a rule for yourself to curb that issue.

You would refrain from wearing his clothes.

James noticed the day after you moved in that you had stopped wearing his clothes. He tried to make a joke about it to get you to wear something, but you would ignore him. He would even purposefully leave out a shirt that you could wear, but you never touched it. As the days passed you still refused to wear anything of his.

He could tell you missed wearing them.

However, he didn’t plan on saying anything until one night he came home late to find you sleeping restlessly in bed. You tossed and turned and pulled at your shirt.

So the next night when he came home, he silently handed you one of his shirts and got into his bed.

However, instead of putting it on, you dropped it and slipped out of your own bed, climbing into his lying right next to him.

Fighting yourself wasn’t the right thing to do. So you gave in.

You turned to face him and snuggled into his side, breathing his scent in.

His arm fell around you pulling you in closer. He slowly stroked your back and you were asleep within a few minutes.

You had something better than James’s clothes. You had James himself.

That one small moment of weakness was going to bite you in the ass. But what did it matter?

──────────────────────

A few weeks later, Teresa announced the house was back to normal and the four of you began to move back in.

However, instead of moving back into your separate rooms, you both unpacked in your old room.

Neither of you said anything about it. And James must have threatened to skin both Teresa and Pote if they said anything because it was never mentioned.

The weeks passed and you continued to share a room. Share a bed.

Nothing changed. Except that you were closer than ever.

About a month later, you walked into the room to see James standing next to two packed bags.

“You- um… you don’t have to leave. “ You said.

James smiled, “I know.”

Your brows furrowed glancing down at his bags.

“I’m going on a mission. I’ll be back next week.”

“Oh. Right. I’ll see you soon?”

He nodded and you stepped forward pulling him into a hug. He buried his face in your hair, holding onto you tight.

And then he was gone.

The next few days were torture. Sleeping without James for the first time in weeks was horrible. You had gotten so used to his warmth that your bed felt cold and empty without him. 

Even wearing his shirts wasn’t working. 

However, you didn’t have long to deal with it, because a few days later Teresa called you in for a new mission.

A big mission.

An undercover mission.

“A month?!” You exclaimed staring at Teresa in disbelief.

Teresa nodded, “You have two hours and then you’re gone.”

You left the room in shock. A month-long mission. And James wasn’t even on base. You couldn’t say goodbye. You wouldn’t see him for a month.

You thought back to your last moment with him. His arms tight around you. Your face buried into his chest. You held onto that moment as you packed up your ship and headed off on your mission, your chest tight with anticipation and longing.

The mission wasn’t an easy one. It was one of the first you had been on alone in a long time. It was weird getting used to not being around people anymore. But after finding the woman Teresa needed, you were finally coming home.

Your mission finally over. And you couldn’t be happier.

It hadn’t been easy and you had to fight your way out. You were sure you were sporting some colorful bruises and possibly a few broken ribs, but you were finally home.

Home.

You never thought you would be able to call a place home. But as you pulled up the driveway, you felt all the tension melt out your body.

Reaching the front steps, you groaned. You didn’t have a key.

So you did the only thing you could think of. You started banging loudly on the door.

No answer. 

You started kicking it letting out a frustrated groan.

Still no answer. 

Where the fuck was everybody?

It was four in the morning. They had to be there. Teresa, Pote, and James should all be home. She had double checked with Teresa on the way home.

You slammed your fist into the door one more time and turned ready to go and pass out in your car for the night when you heard the groan of the door opening.

And there stood a perfect, yet exhausted looking James. You could tell you had woken him up. His hair was ruffled. He was aggressively rubbing his hand across his face, his other gripped tightly to his gun. And he looked furious.

He was also only wearing pajama pants and you weren’t able to pull your gaze away from his chest until you heard his voice.

“What the fuck? Someone better be dying.”

“Sorry, not dying. But are you going to let me in?”

James’s head shot up, his eyes blinking hard as if he couldn’t be. You stood there silently watching him try to piece together that you were actually there.

“Y/N? You’re here? When did you get back? Are you alright? Why are you covered in blood?!” His voice cracked, his arm reaching out, hovering hesitantly in the space between your two bodies.

You glanced down at yourself in surprise. You had wanted to see him so bad that you hadn’t even bothered to clean up first.

You opened your mouth to say something but closed it, and instead just looked at him. Watching as his brows furrowed, he placed his gun down on the table before starting to speak.  
But before he could even make a sound, you shot forward knocking the breath out of him.

Your arms were tight around his chest and you buried your face into his neck.

“Y/N?”

James’s arms tightened around you. After a beat, you pushed him back a little. Your hands reached out to touch his chest feeling his racing heartbeat. One hand slowly rose up until it was cupping his face. You brushed your thumb across his cheek and he sighed.

Just as he opened his mouth to say something, your other hand shot up, threading into his hair and pulling his face to yours.

The second your lips touched his, you felt complete.

──────────────────────

You and James stumbled through the house, knocking things off the tables, possibly even breaking a lamp, before you made it into your room, your lips locked together.

James’s hands scrambled for purchase on your body, settling on your hips and yanking you flush against him. Your hands grabbed onto his shoulders steadying yourself and when you ensured you wouldn’t tumble over, you raised up onto your toes wrapping your arms around his neck and tangled your fingers into his hair.

You felt James’s hand reach around you trying to shut the door, but when he couldn’t reach it, he shoved you back against it, finally slamming it shut.

He pushed you flat against the door, his hands tight around your waist while your nails scratched through his hair, eliciting a deep moan from him.

His hands loosened from your waist and began to tug at your shirt. You chuckled pulling away from his lips, “If you wanted me out of my shirt all you had to do was ask.”

James’s eyes were dark as he ripped your bloodied shirt off, throwing it across the room, “I don’t like being reminded how close I came to losing you. I can’t lose you.”

Your hand grabbed the back of his head, and you pulled him toward you until your foreheads were touching, “You are never going to lose me.”

And once again you pulled him down until his lips met yours. His lips were soft but unyielding against yours. You moaned as his mouth forced yours open.

You pulled your face away with a gasp and titled your head back looking toward the ceiling. Your eyes snapped closed with a moan when you felt him press kisses along your jaw and down your neck.

If you had known kissing James would be like this, you would have done it months ago. You would never be able to go back from this moment. You would never be able to forget how his lips felt brushing over yours. How tight his hands gripped on your body. How much you just wanted him.

You pushed back against the wall behind you, propelling you and James over to your bed. You shoved him back so he fell onto his back. You stood between his legs looking down at him. He looked gorgeous, his hair mussed and his red lips quirked up into a smirk.

You leaned over him, your hair tickling his skin as you began to pepper kisses up his chest. His hands made a move to touch you, but you grabbed them pressing them down to hold him down on the bed. James let out a growl and you peeked up at him with a smirk, before continuing your trek up his chest. When you reached his face, he arched up trying to brush a kiss against your lips. But you skipped over his lips, gently pressing a kiss to his cheek. And then his forehead. And then his jaw. James’s eyes darkened and he shot up pulling you down on top of him.

You straddled his waist leaning over him until he suddenly sat up pulling you with him. His mouth found a sensitive place on your neck and you knew you would definitely have a bruise tomorrow.

You gasped in pleasure, yet somehow managed to force a question out. “Why is the bed made?”

James growled against your skin, “Really? Is this really the time?”

He bit lightly on your neck and your fingers dug into his back causing him to let out a deep groan.

“It’s made. So where were you sleeping?”

“I wasn’t sleeping. I couldn’t sleep knowing that you weren’t here. That you could be somewhere hurt. Somewhere where I couldn’t help you.”

You pushed James back slightly so you could look into his eyes. They were dark with bad memories. You leaned in gently peppering his face with kisses until you felt his mouth grow into a smile. 

“God, I love you.” You mumbled without thinking.

You felt James freeze under you.

“I love you so much. I never thought I could feel this way about someone.”

You grinned and James weaved his fingers into your hair, his thumb sweeping across your cheek. You leaned into his hand closing your eyes with a soft sigh.

James smirked and quickly flipped you over so that you were lying under him. He leaned in and his lips just touched yours when a knock sounded at the door.

“Y/N! Open up!”

You pulled your head away from James, sighing loudly. The knocking sounded again, louder this time, and Cassian dropped his head to your chest, grumbling in annoyance.

“What do you want Pote?” You shouted causing James to wince. You mumbled a quiet sorry as you brushed your hand over the back of his head.

“Teresa wants to talk to you.”

“What the fuck?” You mumbled into James’s hair, “Tell her I’m busy and to fuck off.”

“She’s standing right here. She says, and I quote ‘get your ass off of James and get out here’.”

“Fuck off Pote. I’ll debrief in the afternoon. And James’s ass is on me not the other way around.”

Teresa’s voice flowed through the door, “Y/N, you very well know I can break down your door.”

“Unless you want to see the very scandalous position James and I are in, I hope you reconsider. And don’t forget I still have enough information to blackmail your ass. Or did you forget about that? How about I tell everyone about that time I saw you dancing around wearing a s-“

Teresa laughed, “Right. See you in the afternoon.”

As voices and loud footsteps echoed down the hall, you took a deep breath.

Groaning in annoyance, you pushed James off of you until he collapsed on his side. You turned over and snuggled into him with a wide yawn.

James’s arms came up to wrap tight around you and he pressed a kiss to your head. You closed your eyes and contently buried your face into him.

“Y/N?” James looked down to find that you had fallen asleep. He smiled slightly and brushed the hair back from your face. He pulled you closer and fell into the first restful sleep he had in months.

──────────────────────

You woke up hours later. It was the first time in months that you had slept through the night. You begrudgingly untangled yourself from James and rolled out of bed. You shivered slightly as you stumbled into the bathroom.

You groaned slightly, catching sight of yourself in the mirror. You were still covered with dirt and blood and your body ached in places you knew would hold severe bruises.

As you cleaned yourself up you caught sight of bruises littered along your neck. With a quick glance back at James’s sleeping soundly in the other room, you smiled thinking about how you couldn’t wait to start that up again.

You changed into a clean tank top and pants when you heard a loud bang from the bedroom.

Shooting back into the room, you saw James sitting up in bed panting, his head swinging around as if trying to find something.

You ran over to him and sat next to him, your hands hovering hesitantly over his panting chest.

“Hey. Hey. What’s going on?”

After you spoke, James finally seemed to register your presence and he reached out pulling you into his arms and burying his face into your hair, breathing you in.

You felt him relax as he whispered softly, “I thought I had dreamed it all. I thought you weren’t really here.”

You tightened your grip on him, “I’m here. You have me. Forever.”

His hands gripped your body tight as he began to match his breathing to yours. The both of you were content to just remain in each other's arms for one rare moment of peace.

**Author's Note:**

> There’s gonna be a part two (and three, four, and five probably). Truthfully, if I find the time I might make this a story-story and not just one-shots. We’ll see. Anyways if there are any spelling mistakes or anything bad feel free to shoot me a message I’m too tired and I’ve edited this like 10 times so any mistakes I’ve missed will probably be continued to be missed haha anyways love you guys


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